5 Biggest Lessons I Have Learned As A Mom

Lessons I have learnt as a Mom

After nearly 30 years as a Mom, here are the 5 Biggest Lessons I Have Learned As A Mom. It stands to reason that I would have picked up a few parenting tips. It would be bloody awful if I hadn’t. 

It would mean that I was untrainable, unobservant, ignorant, or above. I want to share some of these “Mom” lessons with you.

But luckily, though I am a bit of all three at times, I do have the odd moment of clarity. Where I am receptive to learning and learn I have. Simply loads and loads and loads of it. More than I ever thought possible. More than I thought a person was able to understand.

Now it’s true that some of the things I’ve learnt along the way might seem obvious. Even logical. But here’s the thing – until you’ve had kids, you’ve never really had to learn these skills. And therefore, a fair bit of what you’re doing is unchartered territory. Like you’re an explorer of old, plotting a new environment. Which a child truly is.

You learn to burp them for an extraordinary amount of time to get the tiniest little burp from them. And that this spot of belching would make you happier than a new pair of shoes.

It takes about half an hour to bathe and dress a new baby. And that it only takes them about fifteen seconds before they ruin all of your efforts. It requires another bath yet again.

You learn that leaving them to cry for a little bit when it comes to bedtime might seem cruel and break your heart, but you’re teaching them kindness in self-soothing—making them realise that you’re the boss and that when you say sleep,,, you mean it.

 

5 Biggest Lessons I Have Learned As A Mom

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It also makes you learn that sometimes, this won’t work.

It teaches you the remarkable nuance differences in a baby’s cry. You can listen to them and understand with absolute clarity as if they’ve said to you in words exactly what is wrong, whether it’s a hungry cry. A please-change-me-cry. A pain-filled cry. Or an I-just-want-a-cuddle-from-you cry.

That kids often say they’re not hungry if they hear what’s on the menu (including veggies). But if you take away the other, less healthy alternatives, like chips and snacks, they’ll knuckle down and eat the veggies just fine. And if they don’t, they’ll come around soon.

That nagging will continue as long as your kids think that there is a chance they will sway you.

If you threaten them with consequences to action, you better have the guts to go through with it. Because otherwise, you look and feel like a fool.

Yes, there are many practical, obvious things that you will learn.

 

Yet of all of the myriad things I have learnt – just five stand out by far:

 

5 Biggest Lessons I Have Learned As A Mom

 

1. Follow your heart and your gut. 

Chances are, your internal compass is spot on. If you have a feeling for something, you’re usually right. You are the parent. You know best. Not someone who wrote some book on parenting. By all means, take the advice. But listen to your inner voice. She’s rather clever.

 

2. Don’t judge. 

Either other children or other parents. Remember not having kids and watching a family with one kid misbehaving terribly? Perhaps throwing a tantrum. Or whining about sweets in the aisle at the shops and possibly chewing with their mouth open and being an unruly and ill-disciplined teen, experimenting, etc. The chances are that someone else has judged you once you’re a parent for your parenting skills and misbehaving child. Because this is what children do, they test the boundaries.

They step out of line. Perhaps they are tired. Maybe just plain naughty. It’s usually a phase. And none of us escapes this fate. Experience has taught me that my kids and I are very fallible. It’s the only way we learn. And become better people. Hopefully not make the same mistakes again. The second I stand in the judgement over someone else’s child, the odds are that I’ll shortly meet with an unpleasant parenting surprise from one of my kids. It has made me realise that being judgemental is awful. As parents, we should support and encourage one another. Not be critical. It takes a village to raise a child.

 

3. Each child is an individual. 

No two kids are the same. If you’re not sure, look at them physically. Even identical twins have some other differences. If siblings can be so very, very different on the outside, imagine how different they are on the inside.

 

4. Don’t compare your kids. 

It is not fair on your kids to compare them. Not with their siblings. Not with their friends. Not with the unrealistic memories you have of yourself as a “perfect” child. It’s ridiculous. Though an oak tree and a cactus are both from the plant family, they couldn’t be different. It would not be fair to expect the oak tree to have edible fruit. Nor to expect the succulent plant to have big, heavy branches, providing lots of shade.

 

5. I love them. 

Parenting is hard. You make yourself unpopular with your kids because you have to discipline them. And say “NO!” lots of the time. But eventually, your kids will realise that you are doing what you are doing out of love. If you love them enough, despite all of your mistakes along the way, they’ll turn out just OK. And will forgive you for your mistakes cause they were made out of love, with the best intentions.

Every single day I am still learning. I’ve never had to parent a fifteen-year-old before. This is all new to me. And though I have parented a twelve and nine-year-old before, they were different kids. What worked with the one kid did not necessarily work with the next kid.

I suspect the learning never ends. And though I rejoice in every single stage and phase of my kids, I also look forward to learning even more.

Luke, Amber and Cole – you’re fantastic teachers!

 

HERE ARE A FEW HANDY TIPS FOR PARENTS TO USE DURING THOSE RESTLESS NIGHTS:

When kids are still up and about when it’s getting close to bedtime or when teens are stressed during exams and struggle to relax or fall asleep, try using any of the following…it works like a charm:

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Comments

3 responses to “5 Biggest Lessons I Have Learned As A Mom”

  1. Manjoo Rughunandan Avatar

    It’s true all that was said ,I’ve been through all of them ,I’ve 3 kids & 4 grandchildren . Thanks for all the advice .

    1. Trish Avatar

      HI Manjoo
      Thank you for you comment. Please share with our readers, any valuable lessons that you have learnt along the way, that we could all learn from.
      Have a Happy Sunday

    2. Trish Avatar

      HI Manjoo
      I am sure you could share some Parenting tips with us. Please share any useful tips here for our readers and have a wonderful weekend

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