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We all have self-imposed limitations and unresolved ‘stuff’; that’s not the question.
Your self-acceptance and self-belief is what propels you forward in life; your lack of it, what holds you back; there was a time when people believed the earth was flat.
When you move with confidence and self-kindness, everything is different; you may still experience disappointments or so-called ‘failure’, but it won’t matter as much. You may still experience hurt and heartache from time to time but it won’t go so deep or last so long. You’ll be more resilient and get up quicker when you fall down, and move more purposefully through life.
Until you love, accept and believe in yourself it will be practically impossible to experience a ‘good’ life; even when things go well you’ll experience stress and worry that you’ll lose it all or be rejected when people find out who you ‘really’ are.
- Self-belief is not logical; you can have the highest qualifications from the most prestigious establishments, great success, enormous wealth, or the most beautiful family – and still doubt yourself.
- Self-belief is not finite; you can have absolute belief in yourself to be a great partner, or parent, or manager, and have little faith in your abilities elsewhere.
- Further scientific news is that it is physiologically impossible to just ‘get over’ self-doubt because these are embedded in your limbic brain; you cannot talk your way out of it.
And yet, there are ways in which you can exponentially increase your belief in yourself, bringing with it a much more fulfilling life experience and typically, more success.
It is when you finally decide that you have had enough of believing the painful and limiting stories about yourself, and you have the courage to take responsibility to change your life – by changing the way you feel about yourself – that you become more peaceful, prosperous, happy, bigger, or [fill in the blank].
Just because people believed that the earth was flat, did not make it so; yet, they lived their lives according to their belief; they limited their travel for fear of “falling off the edge of the earth”.
This is not about “becoming a better person” or “improving yourself”; it is, like Michelangelo said, about transforming whatever is getting in the way of you believing in yourself more. You are already, now, whole and complete; it’s simply your lack of belief that this is so, that gets in the way!
Here are the three main things sabotaging self-belief and self-acceptance:
- unresolved trauma (big and small); this affects your limbic brain and
- limiting beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve”
- a lack of loved ones, teachers or mentors that believe in you absolutely – until you can
If you know how, you can change this. (The question is not if you can change; you already know deep down that you can, or you won’t be reading this).
These changes do not always happen overnight and never happen without commitment. If you are looking for a quick fix, a guru or someone to do it for you, I cannot help you. If however, you are willing to do whatever it takes, then I probably can.
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Animals – Kim – Cape Town
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Hi Andrea
Thanks so much for your reply. Have a great day.
I love reading peoples own stories about struggles they have overcome, they are always inspiring.
Hi Zasha
I agree with you. I’m always inspired by these true life stories”
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